Read at your own risk... Spoilers may suddenly appear and you don't have any poke'balls.


....lol

Ok, so I'm gonna review Ninja Assassin, because I went and saw it :3

First of all, I'd like to bitch-slap the title. Ninja... Assassin. Couldn't you have just picked one? I mean, they more or less mean the same thing, I bet somewhere in the kanji for Ninja, there's a character used for assassin as well. Anyways, that actually doesn't bother me that much, I just kinda look at it and go ... :/ Damn you dubs! You're infecting the rest of society that doesn't even WATCH anime!

On to the movie, which I think I'll start with the characters.

Let's start with the Ninja... assassin (XD). Raizou. I'm not sure on the spelling, but they seem to pronounce his name with a long 'o' at the end so I'm going to make assumptions. I like the way it looks better too. Raizou reminds me of a balanced mix of my character 'Res and *Spekle 's character Jamien. He's more or less silent except when prompted for an answer, and then he's full of one-liners. Seriously, those pigheaded cocky responses made me want to dye his hair blonde. Also, I'm very happy that he is muscle-y, he's still a lean little Asian dude, but he's so-so DROOOOOOOOOOL. It helps me understand why Spekle likes to draw men so much. If I could draw men who are as SCULPTED as Raizou, I would. I like child Raizou a lot too. He's so abused and angsty

Raizou is somehow Jamien and Res' lovechild.... (XD don't kill me Spekle)


The second main character is called Mika... Seriously, what was their problem when they picked out names? She's a BLACK british (or some form of European with an accent) with a JAPANESE NAME.... Maybe it's also some sort of tribal African-American name, but it also is a Japanese name, meaning 'New Moon'... Anyways, names aside, she was a pretty normal female lead. Screaming, uselessness, getting herself killed, and other stuff. I found her endearing, most of her reactions were rather close to my own. At the very least she's proactive while she's panicking. And she's black...

I'm not going into the antagonists or extras cause this is getting pretty long.

The blood was probably the best part. Ninja's blood pressures are way high apparently, the way they spray is so great. And the blood is SO red, even in the dark, you can tell its red. Gawd I loved it.

Anyways, the plot starts out kinda weak. Mika is all like, 'I believe in Ninjas (and watch way too much Naruto), will you believe in Ninjas with me Superior.' And the superior is all like 'ha, ninjas.... Alright I believe in Ninjas too' And then they're all like 'Yayyy' and looking for ninjas together. And then these shady people are all like STOP LOOKING FOR NINJAs now! And you can see where this is going :/ AND THERE ARE SO MANY FLASHBACKS!!! FFFFFFFfffffffuck! I know it's all important somehow, but-but-but, the FLASHBACKS! Raizou, whyyyyyy????? That was probably his biggest flaw, the FLASHBACKS. And then there are ninjas. Lots of ninjas. And LOTS of battle wounded :3 Lots and lots! This movie would make any unrealistic shounen anime proud. And there are epic battles. And more of them. And then there's the army, but they constantly FAIL, which makes me happy. And Raizou be epic. I wouldn't mind going to see this a few more times... Spekle?

There were not enough kunoichi. I wanted some sexy bitch to be like 'one liner, one liner' and insult anything that breaths. And when she dies it would be so righteous. Like that one news lady from Resident Evil 2 who gets eaten alive by children, except slightly less pathetic, just the righteousness.